Pictured above: A beautiful friend of mine at a museum in Bristol, march 2025
In recent years, I’ve strongly felt the desire to really get to know people – not just the version of themselves they initially put across during introductions. I’ve taken it as a personal challenge to break through the surface in almost every interaction I have with someone. Small talk has now become second nature (and admittedly something I find quite enjoyable) after over 24 months of working in the NHS as a junior doctor. But I derive true fulfillment from the conversations where real stories are shared.
As a Christian, I believe that everyone has been put on the earth for a specific purpose. Although it is a process of continually reminding myself, I recognize that we are all children of God – with life experiences that are unique – affected by our cultures, upbringing, social class, religion, and genetic predispositions. I know this is all common knowledge, but like cliches, I think we can almost become too familiar with our differences, and how beautiful they are.
I have found that my interactions with people have been the greatest teachers. Conventionally, learning content out of textbooks is the way one revises for an exam. Five years of medical school reinforced that idea, with people vying for the best source of information that would ensure good results on their assessments. Only after graduating medical school however, is where I have discovered true learning and knowledge. Yes, the head knowledge is necessary, but what I’ve learned over the last two years while working, is that what really allows people (and patients) to open up and feel comfortable with you as a friend or clinician, is a feeling that they are being heard and that a connection with them is being sought after.
Being of Indian origin, and an Australian citizen who has spent the last 10 years of my life split across Abu Dhabi and Malaysia, while currently living in the UK, makes me culturally very confused. Although I have felt a level of dissonance between myself and the local Yorkshire pool of patients I have served throughout my hospital placements in Sheffield and Doncaster (UK), I have learned that our common humanity is enough. The question voiced by most people after they hear me speak is: ‘Where’s the accent from then?’ My response varies each time (although I should have it nailed by now given the frequency at which I’ve been asked this question), and it has often left me feeling a little frustrated at the fact that I so obviously stand out. I have needed reminding however, that this is beautiful. The world is made up of individuals that have experienced all sorts, and we cross paths at different times with the potential of adding value to one another’s lives.
People who have lived in one area their whole lives often tell me how they admire the fact that I’ve lived all over, to which I respond saying that I envy them for having a strong sense of home and community that has resulted from them living in one place. The grass is always greener on the other side.
One day a few weeks ago, I was reflecting on what it is I feel is the best gift my parents have given me. What I landed on was the gift of travel and immigration. The younger, 15-year-old version of myself that felt like she was relocated from Melbourne, Australia to Abu Dhabi, UAE against her will, would be very perplexed by this. My explanation to her for coming to this answer is that I believe the exposure to different cultural practises, religions, and ways of life in general from such a young age, has undeniably shaped the deep interest I now have in understanding people holistically, and making them feel understood. Again, although reading books could have provided the head knowledge for this, I believe that seeing, hearing, and experiencing, is what has resulted in this unshakable desire to know, really know people.
There has been many a time where I have felt like I’ve worked extensively on myself as a Christian, and have strengthened my moral compass while being within the confines of my bedroom praying, reading the bible, and singing songs of praise. Following these periods, I’ve found myself tumbling off my high horse when real-world interactions with challenging people have caused me to realise that without testing, those qualities within me were not established.
We all know that reading a handbook on driving will not make you a good driver and watching YouTube videos on how to play the piano will not make you a skilled pianist. In the same way, broadening our world views cannot be done within the confines of our own homes or within communities of like-minded people. Socialising with those unlike myself does not come easily or naturally, but it has grown my understanding of the human experience immensely.
I highly recommend it!
A dash of Tash 